Respect the Burqa

Let tolerance prevail!!! Do NOT ban the burqa!!!

I keep hearing how important it is to respect ancient traditions. This leads to the irrational conclusion that we must therefore support the wearing of the burqa. The logic expressed is that the burqa must be permitted as a mark of the vital individual freedom to continue tyrannous actions because those practices have been a traditional form of oppression. The emphasis is on tradition. Of course, support for burqa isn't quite so plainly flogged - so to speak - but that is the substance of the argument. If we are to follow this thread to its logical conclusion, we will reinstitute Thuggee. You do remember Thuggee, right? Those wretched British imperialists wiped it out, merely because the ritual of their ancient religious tradition  involved kidnapping and strangling people. How intolerant of those Brits. They should have stuck to killing Jews. (Ironic double meaning intended.
According to this twisted logic,  there are numerous other ancient traditions we should bring back, since public safety and societal concerns are no longer overarching factors in the legislation and implementation of statute. For starters, we should firmly eliminate all this modern complaining about abortion. There are traditions of abortion which go back many thousands of years. It's even mentioned in the Bible! And other related ancient rituals like the exposure of children, especially female babies who would be a big burden to non-polygamous societies. Abortion is clearly a progressive step up from exposure and even infanticde, though under the burqa logic, we could even bring back the least desirable of those practices, so long as we focus on their traditional roots. And logically, we should bring back polygamy, too. This ancient traditional practice could  help mollify those who see the primitive ways of our ancients as defining our species and our societies. This could help quell the modern complaints of anomie and isolation so many modern women suffer in their lonely, monogamous lives.
Then, too, there are the virgin sacrifices. This one might be harder to re-implement, since I’m told that virgins are now in short supply in the West. And somehow our settlements no longer seem to abut the volcanoes we traditionally utilized to sacrifice those virgins - at least in the comic books I read as a kid, from which much of my knowledge of history derives. Fortunately, with the invention of helicopters, geography shouldn’t impose much of a burden on this ancient rite.

It’s our duty to ensure that ancient traditions are supported by the peace- and freedom-loving, tolerant, Progressive morons of this world. So let’s ensure that burqas continue their public representation of all that we have come to love about our ancestral heritage and those historic practices of our hostile neighbors. In support of this righteous cause, here’s a good poster to add to the picket lines: